⚡️THUNDERFANG S3 #25

I had cast aside the mystery of who hired Amari Wade a long time ago. But, in hindsight, perhaps I never truly did. It had always been there, waiting to be solved one day. The clues kept piling up. In a vacuum, they meant almost nothing. 

I remembered when Watt played the recording of the S.P.D. saying there were other deaths like Amari Wade’s. All those times I’d confronted the chaos of my reality, learning more and more about what the Hivebranded could do. I had learned of Akim being the mastermind behind the Benevolent, and him involving the Moriartys. We heard Akim looking for the teleportation device with the Adlers.

And to think, the smoking gun all along was that Akim knew of Reichenbach.

Combined with the recent revelation of Akim’s Branded status, it was clear to me. The documents before us only served to confirm my theory. 

Ira placed a hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?” He spoke with hesitation, as if doing his best to not cut the wrong wire of a bomb about to explode.

I didn’t know how to answer his question. I had too much on my mind. “Akim must have known I’d find these eventually—or he just hadn’t had time to put his notes away before he killed himself.”

I let out a slow breath, hoping I’d done enough to quell the raging fury within me. But, alas, I did not.

And I cut my inner bomb’s wire.

I slammed my fist on the table, sparks flying from where my hand met the surface. Everyone jumped back. “MICHAEL!”

“Locke, you’re freaking us out over here,” Blackstone said. Watt cowered behind her.

“Maybe we should give, give—”

“There’s a mystery that’s been nagging at me for a really, really long time now—MICHAEL, show yourself!” I cracked my neck—sparks of electricity danced off of me. If I didn’t contain myself, I was going to hurt everyone I loved and cared about. I know I had been suspicious of them before but I felt like I finally understood everyone who had manipulated me. It wasn’t any of them.

Michael appeared in the corner looking just as confused as my crew. I marched past the table towards him and stood an arms length away. The others wouldn’t be able to see him, but that was irrelevant. I could still make my point.

With annoyance, frustration, and a hint of condescension, I said, “I’ve become increasingly aware that Malice and his lackeys have been manipulating me—all of us, really—for a long time. All to make these ‘inevitable events’ happen. I’m sick and tired of being manipulated.”

“Wh—what do you mean?” Michael retreated inward, his mental projection cowering before me.

Good.

“Ira, Irēn,” I said over my shoulder, “remember how I said Amari Wade died? Not so much the horror in his face—you know, from whatever killed him—but what he said.”

“Yeah, you said it was a bunch of second-hand info about you,” Irēn said.

“At the end, he also said something very strange. ‘4 vs 7, 7, 7. Miss and a match.’” I smirked: Michael shifted, becoming visibly uncomfortable. I would have thought a mental projection would have a much easier time hiding the truth.

“So, Miss and a Match, definitely Ironlandic, but it sounds like he said three Challenges,” Ira said. “There should only be two.”

“What if—” I dramatically raised a pointed finger in the air. “—there were three because someone else was interfering?” I didn’t look away from Michael. I locked eyes with him and bore down.

“Never heard of that happening before,” Irēn said hesitantly. “What are you getting at?”

“I’m glad you asked.” I lowered my finger and crossed my arms. 

Tick stammered to get his words out. “I don’t like where this, this is going. Guys, we should—”

“I’m pretty sure Michael killed Amari Wade.”

The silence that descended upon us was swift. No side comments, no giggles, no sharp inhales of breath. Just silence.

“I—”Michael began.

“Are you saying your Hivebranded brother killed a serial killer?” Jane blurted out finally.

“You’re not denying it.” I squinted at him, lightning urging its way forth from deep within to break free on my skin—to uselessly strike my manipulative older brother. “When you showed me Conan and Arthur, I could hear your thoughts. You said you understood the feeling of doing horrible things to protect someone you love. Were you talking about me? I recognized the 777 in that moment but—stars forbid—I was easily distracted—” I spat out the word directly at him. ”—by the blood pooling out of every orifice of Amari Wade’s face!”

I reached out to grab him—like Akim had done on the derelict—and I could feel him. Just for a moment, before he vanished and reappeared off to my left. I spun to look at him, the lightning popping more visibly now. Everyone moved back farther—except Ira, who I saw actually take a step toward me instead. 

“How much of my life has been manipulated by you?!”

“You’re supposed to be with him!” Michael said, pointing at Ira. “Malice set up Amari Wade as a distraction! He was going to lead you astray and still get what he wanted! I…I couldn’t let that happen! I put you back on the right path!”

“So you killed him!?”

“You would have failed if you let him distract you! The entire Forge would have been doomed! But now everyone has a chance!”

“You took away my choice!”

“YOU NEVER HAD ONE!”

I’d suspected that to be the case—so much of this journey so far had been about my “destiny.” But hearing it from him felt like one of Curtis Winter’s ice shards had been stabbed into my heart. 

Apparently, ever since the day I was born, I’d been living out a scripted life. Everything I’d done, everything I’d been through, was all in service to this end goal that I had no choice but to participate in. Not a single decision had been my own.

And my brother had helped with that.

“Locke, what’s going on?” Ira, the love of my life, the man I almost didn’t reconnect with because of Akim’s interference, placed his arms around me. For a brief moment, I was calm. I clung to my memories of him. I’d only ever wanted to be in his arms. I should have been thanking Michael, right?

…right?

“Malice put Amari Wade in my life to distract me,” I said loud enough for the crew to hear, but just barely. I’d forgotten they couldn’t hear him. “So Michael killed him.”

“That’s…a good thing, right?” Jane asked skeptically.

Was it? Where was my anger really coming from? I remembered being in lust with Amari, wondering what the bad boy with flaming hair could do to my life. I’d always pined for Ira, though, so I should be thanking my brother for meddling.

The mere thought of word made me sick. That was it. I was upset not at the loss of a timeline where Amari Wade and I ended up together, no matter how chaotic that might have been. I was upset that, once again, someone else was meddling—manipulating me on purpose. Malice, Akim, Michael—who knew who else.

And…were we not meant to be? What happened in the timeline where Amari Wade lived? Did Ira and I ever reconnect? Was he not part of my destiny?

“I’m sorry.” Michael cautiously approached as the others murmured around me. “You’ve always been the chosen one, Locke. You were the one Conan saw and the one Malice needed to corrupt because of it. It’s always been about you. You have one choice now: defeat him, or this all ends.”

. . .

“I give up.”

“What?” Everyone collectively questioned my words and Watt played a warning sound, but I meant what I said.

“I have no…agency. I’m exactly what Malice called me. I’ve done everything exactly as planned for me.”

I wasn’t a hero. I wasn’t a Bleeding Heart.

I was just…a pawn.

“Bullshit,” Lestrade spat. “I may be one of the newer ones here, but I know damn well you are anything but a pawn. You risked everything to make sure Roger Usagi was cleared, and you—”

“Only because it was part of the script written out for me.” My voice droned.

“Locke, you can’t believe—”

“John, Akim was already thinking about how we were destined to work together. We had no choice.”

“Okay, and what about me?” Ira stood in front of me, arms crossed, unafraid of the lightning that continued to spark off of me. But he did not look pleased at the way I was handling things. “You think I only love you because I have to? You made Avam feel like home. You welcomed me, saved me, loved me. I refuse to believe that you and I had no choice in us. We worked hard for this.”

“But look—we’re here, just like Michael wanted. He said I would fail without you, so he manipulated everything to get us here. I love you but…but it’s almost like I—”

“OH WOULD YOU STOP ALREADY!?”

Even Jane was caught off guard by Tick’s sudden outburst. He was angry—angrier than I’d ever seen him. The crayons and pencils he’d been using clattered to the floor and rolled out of sight. A single tear fell on the drawing he was crushing in his hand.

“You are so fucking wrong, Locke,” he said. “Out of everyone, you have all the choices! You’re so different in each timeline! The world literally changes around you. You change the world. If anyone here has any agency, it’s you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Tick, I—”

“Fine. FINE!” He threw his hands up in the air, the drawing he’d been working on recently wafting down slowly until he fell to the floor. He stepped on it to get to the crime board. “If you want to let the world end, do it on your own timeline, away from me.”

What was he talking about? 

Tick furiously held up various notes we’d taken in his hands close to his face. As if he was…

…trying to commit them to memory. 

Like he was going to loop.

“What are you doing?” I rushed over to grab them from him but he avoided me by what felt like milliseconds. His teary eyes locked on mine.

“I’m going to save us, that’s what I’m going to do. I was given a gift: I can change things! If you want to sit around here and mope, then so be it. Everyone you know and love will die if you let Malice come back. So I’ll find a you willing to get the job done. You went to Akim’s home, right? Okay. I’ll just make sure I stop you from doing that, then. Make sure you don’t kill us all!”

“Tick, stop!” My voice thundered through the ship. He paused for a second, his body trembling, before he continued with fervor.

“Or what?” he snapped. “I’ll just rewind again and again and again until I get it right. I don’t care how many glitches I create.”

“So you’re just going to take away even more of my agency!?”

“YOU TOOK YOUR AGENCY AWAY, LOCKE.” Whatever Tick was holding fell to the ground in sync with his tears. “In every timeline, you do things differently. Yes, similar things happen but you have a fucking choice! You control your own story.  I don’t know how many times you have to be told this! Not a single other person or entity has any power over you. That’s why Malice wants you. You aren’t controlled. You do what you want. You defy him! You deny him of everything he wants and everything he thought he had. You are literally the only person here with any actual fucking agency!”

Tick reached into his pocket and retrieved his pocket watch, his fingers gripping it tightly. “I’ll make sure I tell you about what Michael did to Amari Wade one, one day.” He inhaled and closed his eyes.

And before I could stop myself, I yelled, “STOP!”

I hated this feeling. I felt so…manipulated. And Tick was essentially doing the same thing, forcing me to do something I just wasn’t ready for. I hadn’t asked to be chosen. I hadn’t asked for any of this.

“I’m sorry, sorry, Locke.” Tick lowered the pocket watch, choking back more tears. “You are the only, only hope any of us have if we want to avoid Malice winning. I’m sorry to be forcing you to do something, too, but…I can’t let what happened back then happen again, again!”

“You sound like you’ve seen it, too,” John said.

He’d seen the Cataclysm, too?

Could I blame him for not wanting that to happen here? Could I blame Michael?

Tick eventually nodded. “Only a little, but it was enough, enough. When I stopped doing what the voices wanted me to do, they tried to…” His voice trailed off, but I understood.

“They tried to take away your agency, too?”

He nodded again. “It was horrible. And I feel sick trying to bully you into doing this, Locke, but…It can only be you. You are the only one with enough control over their own story to defeat Malice.”

“Then…why doesn’t it feel that way?”

No one had an answer for me.

Despite nothing being resolved and my world still remaining flipped upside-down, we all retreated to our rooms for the night. There wasn’t much more anyone could say to diffuse the tension.

Part of me wanted to cry. Another wanted to break everything in sight. Ira saw the warring emotions within me and beckoned me into the bed where he simply held me.

And I chose the former.

“I understand how you feel,” Ira said over my tears. “Feeling like everyone has decided for you how your life will end up, good or bad. I definitely understand the urge to want to just be free of it all.” He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “But I need you to hear me on this, Locke.”

I wasn’t done crying, but he propped me up, his eyes demanding that I listen to every word he said. It helped that I loved his touch, his voice, his taste, his smell, his eyes—even when he also seemed a little angry with me.

“So what if the universe conspired to help me find you? It doesn’t matter how we got here, not to me. I don’t care if Michael helped us reconnect. I don’t care if this was ever the only choice for us, in any timeline, regardless of how many redheads distracted you. I love you, Locke Holmes. Do not let anyone else dictate our story—or yours. You are the only one who controls that, you hear me? We decide.”

“But what if the same thing happens again?” I’d barely thought it before the words came spilling out. “What if they think you’re a distraction, too? What if they—” 

“Ah.” He pinched his fingers together, silencing me. “It won’t come to that. You control your story…Besides, we have a time traveller.” 

Ira’s forced smiled doesn’t comfort me as much as I’d want, but I clung to the hope that it would all truly be okay. One day.

His arms were warm and safe and comforting and the embodiment of home all throughout the night.

No one could ever take that from me.

Next week on ⚡️THUNDERFANG:

With the miserable truth out in the open, the crew needs something to make them feel better.

How about Yelena finishing the automaton?

Nothing could go wrong there!